Everywhere I look people, magazines and television shows are making lists of… stuff. Best this, worst that, most something something these. Being that this is my first time ringing in the new year with a list-capable blog, I thought I’d make some. But, since all the good topics are already taken by persons with more developed opinions on the matters than myself, I’m going to celebrate unimportantness with my lists.
10 things I may, or may not have, called a bowel movement in 2008
1. A bowel Movement
2. Moving Brown
3. Hanging a Root
4. Dropping the Kids off at the Pool (or other comedically-timed location)
5. Defecating
6. Greasing the Loaf Pan
7. Making a Poo
8. Laying a Coil
9. Merde-ing
10. Slaying a Poo Dragon
10 over-hyped food items by year
2008 Pho
2007 Yam Fries
2006 Tapas
2005 Edimame
2003 Asian/Oriental/Thai Chicken Salad
1996 Bubble Tea
1995 The Cappuccino
1994 Chicken Caesar Salad
1988 Quiche
1972 Fondu
(photo by Arnór Hreiðarsson’s on flickr)
10 songs I never want to hear again
1. Coldplay - Don’t Panic
2. The Shins - Caring Is Creepy
3. Zero 7 - In The Waiting Line
4. The Shins - New Slang
5. Colin Hay - I Just Don’t Think I’ll Ever Get Over You
6. Cary Brothers - Blue Eyes
7. Remy Zero - Fair
8. Nick Drake - One Of These Things First
9. Thievery Corporation - Lebanese Blonde
10. Simon & Garfunkel - The Only Living Boy In New York
You might be thinking, “Aren’t those the first ten songs of the Garden State soundtrack?” Yes they are. Stop playing it at parties.
Happy [almost] New Year everybody!
12/30/2008 at 7:49 pm
Funniest. Post. Ever :)
12/30/2008 at 8:44 pm
A similar, although perhaps more extreme, view found here:
http://www.kungfugrippe.com/post/67018244/2008-top-ten
Happy New Year, Jay!
12/31/2008 at 8:59 am
I share your disdain for Garden State and fondu. I think you were a little harsh on edimame though. Seriously.
01/02/2009 at 9:29 am
I was about to be seriously offended until I realized that indeed #5 did appear on the Garden State Soundtrack in addition to the numerous mix CD’s that may have made their way to your eardrums.
I have to say though, edimame and yams (however prepared, but preferably fried) are not over-hyped. They are delicious, Jay Grandin. Next thing I know you’ll be saying that avocadoes are so “over”. When and if that happens, I really don’t know if we can be friends.
Longest comment ever? Yes.
01/02/2009 at 12:07 pm
Awesome awesome awesome poo.
01/07/2009 at 12:27 am
[...] Here’s a funny one - Lists That Aren’t Interesting [...]
01/09/2009 at 7:50 am
[...] to the very talented Jess Sloss, I came upon this post called Lists That Aren’t Interesting, by Jay Grandin. At first I was wondering why he wrote a list about bowel movements, but it did get funnier from [...]
01/29/2009 at 10:25 pm
[...] to the very talented Jess Sloss, I came upon this post called Lists That Aren’t Interesting, by Jay Grandin. At first I was wondering why he wrote a list about bowel movements, but it did get funnier from [...]
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07/15/2009 at 8:19 pm
Might I humbly suggest: “Killin’ the brown snake” for the bowel list?